Principles of Happiness

I’ll be honest: The only reason I went out my first night in Montenegro was because my Airbnb didn’t have toilet paper.

I figured a quick walk around town, a trip to the local grocery store, and I’d call it a night. But the shop didn’t close until 11pm (it was only 8:30 or so), and a courtyard filled with twinkle-lights was calling my name, so I decided to stop for dinner instead. As I settled into my Greek salad (I think that is the only thing I ordered the whole time I was in Montenegro- not a huge fan of Kotor’s food selection), I heard a woman call over to me, “Excuse me, would you like to join us for dinner?”

I looked over at the table across the aisle from mine; a woman maybe ten years older than me and two middle aged me sat together. The men had finished their meals, though the woman was still picking at her pizza. Why not? So I picked up my plate and made my way over.

The conversation was lively; the two German men were coworkers on a road trip together, the woman French and on a “swim vacation.” They had invited her to dine with them when they noticed her alone, and she extended the same invitation to me. They had also already exchanged the basic “getting to know you” pleasantries only 20 minutes earlier, and so those were repeated quickly. Though the two men had been each other’s confidants and advisors in the workplace for years, they had never spent much time together as friends until this trip, where they really had no set destination and went where the road took them. During their long drives, conversation had made its way to philosophy of life and happiness, and they shared with us what they had determined to be the three keys to happiness in life:

The first key to happiness is never knowing the whole story. I feel like here is a good place to mention that the woman at the table was… a Devil’s Advocate to put it gently. She countered almost every point made by any of her dining companions, and had big opinions on when life was “over,” (once you’re married and have children). Anyway, she disagreed with this first point, and I did as well to a certain extent. The idea is that much of our joy is in the unknown. When there is mystery, even just a little bit, in any situation, it makes it more fun, exciting, or interesting, and therefore more enjoyable. As a lover of knowing history and backstories in the places I visit, I disagreed. As I travel, it completely thrills me to know who walked in my steps hundreds of years before, the work that went in to art or architecture, and to deeply understand the religious or cultural impact of monuments and neighborhoods.

On the other hand, mystery is intriguing and adds spice to life. I read an article recently that made the point that children view and approach life in a way that many spiritual paths encourage adults to find once again. Because so much of the world is new and they aren’t held back by preconceived notions, fear, or embarrassment, children are able to experience life unrepressed. Seeing the world with unashamed joy and awe in all of the mysteries that surround you- what could be happier?!

The final key to happiness according to these gentlemen was living on the edge. Our other dining companion shot them down, saying that living dangerously didn’t benefit anyone. But living dangerously and living on the edge aren’t the same thing; they believed that regularly pushing yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. outside of your comfort zone was essential for happy living.

    

Anyways, dinner that night was an unexpected delight.

Such small moments with fellow travelers have provided me with months of reflection and thought. It was a wonderful first night in Montenegro!